Tag: faithandwriting

Writing – A Marriage between You and the Screen

April 16, 2019 / Chiara

It takes many drafts to make one beautiful, messy masterpiece.

Writing and authoring novels is like dating to get married. It’s a big commitment. A casual affair won’t work for the writer. Sure, some of you have tried writing, but dabbling in it is not the same as being dedicated and writing for a living.

Terrible drafts unlike awful dates can be massaged and salvaged. Think of all the copies stuffed in some drawer never to be looked at again. It’s doubt that is the killer. Or, maybe you are just a poor writer. It’s okay if this endeavor is not your thing, or what you expected it to be.

Expected? A simple word that holds a lot of weight, so much that a paper towel couldn’t absorb this amount of liquid.

Let’s define expectation…

Expectation:

noun

The act or the state of expecting: to wait in expectation.

The act or state of looking forward or anticipating.

An expectant mental attitude: a high pitch of expectation.

Something expected; a thing looked forward to.

Often expectations: a prospect of future good or profit: to have great expectations.

The degree of probability that something will occur: There is little expectation that he will come.

Most young girls dream of that perfect wedding. A handsome prince that will sweep them off their feet and together, they will live happily ever after. Ah, let me be blunt, I think today’s women and men have realized those days are slim. Chivalry in both genders are depleting. We are too preoccupied and self-absorbed. Screen-time has replaced face-time. Even the age for marriage has gone up. The average age is now 27 years old for women, and 29 years old for men.

With that being said, most people after a certain age choose not to marry. Why? Too much work, set in their ways, they can do everything themselves, and are financially stable. Why take the plunge of marriage when in the U.S. alone, the statistic of divorce is 40-50% for every one marriage.

Some folks I’ve spoken with have said they’d like to write a book. Great, go for it. Wait till they realize how difficult it is. One doesn’t just sit at a computer and type away, and BOOM, you’ve written a book. Yes, that’s how it starts, but you have to keep writing and rewriting until there is a semblance of a storyline. There are rules, such as grammar and punctuation. I’m not talking about emoji’s or abbreviated words. I’m talking about real sentences with commas and periods, and structure, as in a story having a beginning, middle, and end.

The initial draft of a story can be compared to a first date, often awkward. I’ve also heard from some writers that their early manuscripts are some of their best works. Best, as in original, emotional, descriptive, and carefree. Why? Because it’s the very first draft, the first impression, and why not make it your best?

But, that first (draft or date), can be improved. To do so, you have to be willing to share and be open, or else how do you know to continue on?

If a first draft is your FIRST date, what is marriage? Marriage is the countless rough copies/versions of the same story. I can confirm that statement. It took me nine years and 27 versions of “Love’s Perfect Surrender” before the final copy of the story. It took me a year and a half and fourteen versions of “Petrella the Gillian Princess,” and six months and seven versions of “A Tribute to Tulipia”.

I know what you’re thinking. Your drafts keep going down in numbers. True. If you practice writing long enough, you will make progress, but, Petrella, the Gillian Princess and A Tribute to Tulipia were much shorter in book length, and that makes a difference.

I’m currently working on a novel, “Make it Right; Make it Matter”. It has taken me roughly twelve years to write it with 34 versions to date. Eh, who’s counting? I keep tweaking and tweaking because I know it’s not quite finished, yet. Why do all that work? Because it is my “sophomore” full-length novel, and I sincerely believe in the tale so much, I want to make sure it’s done as best as it can be.

Back to marriage. In long-term relationships, people change, and if you believe in the “us” then you will understand that those changes affect the ebb and flow of a union. However, if you are open to growth, are sincere, and devoted, those changes and differences can be overcome. It takes many drafts to make one beautiful, messy masterpiece.

For the first time writer, or the writer who has been at it for years, and this is your TRUE desire, stay the course. Some days and years, the writing will be euphoric and will flow out of you like water from a garden hose. Other times, writer’s block kicks in and that flowing hose, well, it will get rock sediments in there. That is marriage. Keeping the “I do” at the forefront of your relationships and continuing to pour love into each other even if there are pebbles along the way.

Remember to love those days, these days, and all the days because seasons of setbacks can often lead to seasons of soaring.

I’m going to leave you with something. In writing and relationships, you’re going to have to:

Just like marriage vows, writers need a vow too. Make a copy of this and post it on a wall in front of your work space. Let it be a reminder to commit in your writing endeavor.

I_________(your name) take thee pen and paper (or, keyboard and computer) to use as my imagination tools for writing each and every day. I promise to trust the process and persevere no matter what.

Until next time…

References

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/expectation

https://bestlifeonline.com/average-marriage-age-united-states/

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19567270/average-age-of-marriage/

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/reasons-not-to-get-married_n_5274911

https://www.quora.com/Why-dont-some-people-get-married-or-decide-never-to-marry

https://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/

https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/us-divorce-statistics-and-divorce-rate-2000-2017/

https://www.quora.com/Is-it-true-that-the-first-draft-of-any-novel-is-always-shit-and-bad

https://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/there-are-no-rules/fruitless-first-draft-struggles

https://lithub.com/7-methods-for-writing-your-first-draft/

https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/perfect-first-draft/

https://medium.com/startup-grind/why-you-should-not-write-a-book-c34d260d4550

https://wordskies.wordpress.com/2015/07/05/everyone-wants-to-write-a-book/

https://www.nytimes.com/2002/09/28/opinion/think-you-have-a-book-in-you-think-again.html

Do Pets go to Heaven?

February 19, 2018 / Chiara

On Monday evening, January 22^nd, 2018 it rained. It was a sideway kind of rain, one that saturates the ground in what can be described as a “good soaking”.

Why is this significant? Well, normally it doesn’t rain in January in the Midwest—we are in the midst of the winter season. Falling rain like that in the form of snow can accumulate into several inches in less than two hours.

This rain was different in many ways. The day started out cloudy and then the sun peaked out around two in the afternoon, only to bring back the rolling dark clouds and fog at dusk when it began to rain all through the night.

It matched my mood and broken heart. You see, my twelve-year-old Black Capped Conure, named Daisy, suddenly passed away. A Conure is small to medium-sized parrot. They belong to several genera within a long-tailed group of the New World parrot subfamily Arinae.

I know what you’re thinking? A bird? You are writing about the death of a bird. Seriously?

Yeah. I am. I’m a writer and this is how I cope with traumatic losses, joyous celebrations, and everything in between. To you, it may be a little bird, but to me and my family, Daisy was part of our home. She gave us love, laughter, joy, frustration, and loud screeches and whistles—music to our ears.

I’ve had pet birds since I was eight years old. Technically, Daisy was my sixth bird. Most of my birds were parakeets with a life-span of 5-10 years. Daisy was a bigger investment not because she costed more, but because it involved more of a life-care investment. Most Conures have a life expectancy of 20-25 years, and require more handling attention. When I bought her I remember praying about the commitment of caring for her. I was in it for the long haul.

Unfortunately, she lived just a week past her twelfth-year purchase date of January 16^th 2006. I feel cheated of our time together.

My daughters who are nine and seven are suffering the most. Their whole lives they’ve known Daisy. This is their first pet death and emotionally, it is cutting pretty deeply inside of them.

Daisy had changed over the weekend of January 20th. She slipped down the cage bars, and then all of a sudden I noticed that she wasn’t eating or drinking anymore but stood on her perch all puffy and breathing heavy. Even when I held her, she was breathing very heavy.

How did this happen? Did I miss the signs?

Well, there were signs now that I think about it. Since December, we were visited by a male cardinal on some days and on other days, a female cardinal on a tree across our backyard. Always between 7:30-8:00 a.m. when I was preparing breakfast for my daughters before they went to school.

Call me superstitious, but I have always been in awe of cardinals. They are beautiful and regal, and I’ve read stories on how people were visited by cardinals after their loved ones have passed. Or, maybe they are messengers from God who bring good or bad news. I even wrote about my recent experience of the cardinals that had been visiting us just weeks before in a previous blog. Click here to read the blog. I’ve also included some useful sites on cardinals under References.

When the male or female cardinal would come, I would stare and wonder what it could be telling me. And, now I know. They were getting ready to take Daisy home.

Really? Yes. I am that sure because my intuition tells me so, plus when my last two birds, Kiwi and Piwi had died, I was visited by Pigeons and Doves right before they passed on, and during our burial of the birds.

Both the male and female cardinals showed up on Saturday and Sunday morning, and then on Monday, a half-hour before Daisy died.

I also think my precious bird was sick for some time too. At least for a month she hadn’t been moving around as much like she used to. December was crazy busy for us that I probably didn’t even notice the subtle changes as I should have. Daisy cuddled with me more when I held her every night. She also had been making these choking sounds, or even trying to talk. I couldn’t tell. She could have been doing that for a while, I don’t know.

Birds by nature can mask illnesses really well especially in the wild. It’s part of their DNA. I wish I had known what was wrong earlier. I should have paid a lot more attention. Maybe, just maybe…

Ah, I can go on and on. I hate myself for being careless.

I called her Vet first thing on Monday morning. He was booked. Then, he suggested I drive to another Vet clinic the next day. I explained to him that I didn’t think Daisy was in any condition to be driven anywhere. It was then that he was able to change some of his appointments and come out to the house in the afternoon.

At 2:15, the doctor arrived. At first, while looking Daisy over through the cage, he heard the sounds she was making and said that they were actual sneezes. He also said she looked very weak by the way that she was breathing, deducing she might have an upper respiratory infection. He wanted to prescribe medicine but doubted any medicine could help her at this stage.

Upon hearing all this, a nauseating wave swept through my body. My heart began to descend in a slow kind of jolt—like an old elevator stopping from floor to floor.

The doctor then gingerly took her out of the cage and held her to observe her closely and see whether there were any tumors on her body. Daisy squirmed in his hand like she always did for our yearly checkups the last twelve years. He then placed her in a small plastic Tupperware to weigh her. We chatted for about thirty seconds or so, on what we could do to help her/save her. All the while we heard ruffling around in the small Tupperware, and then nothing. Opening the lid, we discovered Daisy’s lifeless body. Hurriedly, the doctor scooped her up and tried opening her beak, and rubbing her body, but she was already gone.

I watched with my mouth open trying to process what just happened. Daisy died??

The surprised doctor laid her upon a sheet of paper towel on the kitchen table in front of me. Our vet had come over at 2:15 p.m. and Daisy was dead from an apparent cardiac arrest at 2:25 p.m.

Shock, grief, and a whole lot of tears consumed me as I gazed at my beautiful pet. My mind was in a twister. My kids were coming home from school in less than twenty minutes; how was I going to be strong and tell them that their beloved little bird passed away? Daisy had been alive six hours earlier when they had left for school and now…

When the girls returned home, they learned about their pet. I can’t even describe in words their shock and pain.

Through puddles of tears we buried our little friend in the front yard of our house. Daisy loved the mornings the best and so it was appropriate to have her rest where the sun shines on our lawn each and every day. We prayed, grateful she was not suffering anymore, even though we were saddened of losing her physical presence in our house.

That night when it was raining, I pictured God crying with us. Baptizing Daisy in the earth with His love. I prayed no animal would come and dig her up and eat her. Then, in the morning, there was an inch of snow on the ground and the temperature was in the teens. I felt relief. God had protected my little bird. The soil was hardened and it created a protective shell around Daisy’s body.

And then during breakfast time with my daughters, we saw the most glorious thing before our eyes. Perched on the tree in our backyard, came two cardinals. One male and one female. They jumped from branch to branch. It reminded us of Daisy and now she had come with a male friend. They flew away high in the sky. A spiritual sign she was okay. And, a hopeful promise that she would watch over us from time to time.

So, all this experience of losing a dear pet got me wondering if pets have souls and whether or not they go to Heaven when they die. I’ve been doing some research and found several sites that talk about:

How God views animals as a whole,
How God views humans versus animals,
Whether or not animals will be in Heaven,
Whether or not animals will be here when Jesus comes back,
Do animals and/or pets have souls,
Does the Bible say if pets go to Heaven?

There is a ton of Bible scripture that for the most part address these questions/concerns and more. After reading through these sites and my own Bible, I’ve come to some conclusions. Know that these are my conclusions and in no way am I in position to push them onto you, the reader. I am still curious and will be asking my Pastor about them. In the References, you will find those sites too. So, grab a Bible (NKJ) and check it out yourself.

Alas, here are my takeaways:

God cares for all creatures, animals included (Psalms). They are part of his creative process. He even says that the animals were “good” in Genesis.
God especially cares for us, the humans because we are made in the image of Him and therefore have souls. He also says in Genesis that humans are to rule over the animals.
I believe that there will be animals in Heaven. In Revelation, Jesus is to come back on a horse. Even in Isaiah it talks about the wolf and lamb eating together.
I also believe animals can have souls. In Genesis, it talks about animals “having the breath of life”. Translation, souls.
Has my pet Daisy, and all my other pet birds been resurrected to Heaven? This I am uncertain of that at this time.

It’s been almost a month since Daisy’s passing. Our house has been so quiet. I don’t have opened pumpkin shells and seeds to pick up from the floor and dirty water to change daily. I miss my Daisy who was always ready to jump in my hand to cuddle and let me give her kisses.

I hope the love and care I gave her all these years was enough. One thing that Daisy taught me was to forgive. Forgive. It’s a word that I’ve been learning a lot about lately. It’s ironic because I am in the midst of editing my third novel, where the protagonist has been suffering from alcohol addiction and journeys into her past to learn how to forgive those that hurt her. Read more about my novel, “Make it Right; Make it Matter” here.

And, as for me, for some years now, I’ve been dealing with certain disappointments in my life that I won’t go into, but I too am trying to learn how to forgive. I can take Daisy’s passing as a sign to do that and move on.

References:

About Conures

http://petparrots101.com/conures.asp

https://stuff4petz.com/types-of-conures/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conure

Red Cardinals and their Significance

https://www.reference.com/world-view/spiritual-meaning-red-cardinal-bird-b6330177389c939e#

http://www.thecardinalexperience.com/symbols.php#.WoMSgkxFzIV

https://www.californiapsychics.com/blog/angels-guides/meaning-red-cardinal-sighting.html

http://www.beliefnet.com/wellness/environment/galleries/a-spiritual-field-guide-to-birds.aspx?p=4

Biblical Explanations about Pets Having Souls and/or Going to Heaven

https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/do-animals-or-pets-go-to-heaven-a-biblical-analysis/

https://www.gotquestions.org/pets-heaven.html

https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-pets.html

http://www.answers2prayer.org/bible_questions/Answers/animals/pets.html

https://www.biblegateway.com/

Writer Depression: Fact or Fiction?

December 13, 2016 / Chiara

A few weeks ago, I launched my second book, Petrella, the Gillian Princess. A middle-grade fairy tale aimed at children between the ages of eight to thirteen. It was supposed to be what I call my “interim” book. A filler book before my full-length, Women’s Fiction, Make it Right; Make it Matter.

I thought this book would have been a three-to-four month project with a hired illustrator, and some minor tweaks of a story that I had written back in 2012 for an anthology book, but it never made the cut. Instead, it turned out to be much, much more.

In fact, I resurrected the story, late 2014, for my daughters—a little gem for them. I began working on smoothing out the storyline. I was bored. I had just launched my debut Christian Romance, Love’s Perfect Surrender, and was doing author events, but I was itching to write again.

And so, I started rereading it; several times to myself and then to my daughters, hired a professional editor, and put together a launch team of readers. Forty-seven versions later, I completed Petrella, the Gillian Princess.

During the last three weeks before the reveal, I worked well into the night, finalizing the story, sending out communication, setting up distribution channels, and marketing the release of the story.

(I can attest. This is the rigorous process of an Indie Author. Wearing multiple hats and handling all aspects of writing and promotion for each and every book, he/she wants to publish.)

Exhausted and fatigued, and sometimes delirious, I plugged away at completing this project to the best I knew how. I made a commitment to myself and my daughters, and I was going to accomplish it no matter what. So, why did I put myself through such emotional stress for a just a 96-page tale?

In a recent interview with Mundus Media Ink, whom I used to help me convert my book into paperback and ebook format, I had this to say about my writing passion:

“I write for the euphoric desire and need to transfer spiraling thoughts into words that move people emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I love taking everyday life situations and circumstances that people encounter, struggle and conquer, and turn it into creative storylines.”

On my website’s Welcome page, I say…

“People often ask me what it’s like to write. I tell them the effect of living and breathing your character’s lives is like immersing yourself underwater for an indefinite amount of time. Time being the key word. When I know I’ve captured all the details required, that’s when I come up for air. You got to have a good set of lungs to be a writer.”

On my About page of my website, this is the root reason for writing…

“I have two addictions: reading and writing. I feel restless and empty when I can’t read fiction, write my deepest thoughts in my journal, or even write down story ideas. Writing calms me, centers me, and provides a healthy outlet to my communication of imaginary friends.”

I can’t explain it, but I got to think that the fastest Marathon runners like Dennis Kimetto and Emmanuel Mutai, Olympians like Michael Phelp, renowned scientists like Albert Einstein, and inventors like Steve Jobs, would understand about passion, going beyond to find solutions, experiencing hopelessness when something goes wrong, and wondering, where do you go next when you’ve accomplished the highest record achievable?

I can’t break world records in running or swimming; I am definitely not a scientist; and I really haven’t invented anything. But, I can personally understand “post-partum” emotion. Growing and nurturing something inside me, talking to it, feeling the heartbeat and kicks, and going through all sorts of sensations for nine months, not really seeing what that “final” creation looks like, but loving it, no less. Even though, seeing your baby live when it is born is the most awesome, blessed miracle; it’s just not the point here. Keep reading (wink…wink)

Which leads me to this…

Petrella, the Gillian Princess was released to the world on November 23^rd, 2016, two weeks later from my original launch date. A story dedicated to my daughters who were the inspiration behind the main characters: Princess Petrella, King Hermas, and Finerd.

Oh, the many nights of conversation I had in my head with all my characters. And now, poof…Done. No more tweaking or changing the storyline. Conversations ceasing altogether because they’ve been documented, transcribed, and are now printed.

And so, right after the book launched, I felt myself plummet into a dark hole of isolation, realizing this ugly feeling of finality.

Going online, I did a Google search on “Writer Depression/Why Writers are Depressed?” I discovered there were over thirteen million hits on the key words.

I started reading up on well-known writers who have suffered depression during their writing career. A few are listed here.

Sylvia Plath
William Styron
J.K. Rowling
Anne Sexton

I then started researching ways to overcome these dark feelings. And I learned the importance of …

Setting a regular schedule of writing—Doesn’t always happen with me. I’m a mom first and the “CEO” of my home; so chores and errands sometimes take precedence over writing.
Exercising—Yep, every day…I have too even for 15-20 minutes a day.
Getting enough sleep—Love this one! How? Most of my creativity happens after 9 p.m., and I write in the middle of the night.
Talking with others or joining various social groups; Do volunteer work—I try and am involved in groups and organizations.
Even taking a break from writing altogether—Eh, maybe?

We are in the last month of the year. Lots to do and accomplish. I’m a little burnt out of writing and have reluctantly decided to give myself time to relax (hard to do as I am a type “A” personality), celebrate having written and published two books, and do a little of selling/promo for Petrella, the Gillian Princess. Importantly, I want to focus on the Advent Season/Christmas.

I have two projects waiting in the wings. A short-story, a Dystopian-type tale that I had written back in 2007 which I want to resurrect again. And, a Woman’s fiction in which I have a ton of edits to work through. At this point, I am not sure when I’ll start those projects. Time will tell. I need to pause.

One of my favorite up and coming Country singers these days is Brett Eldredge. A fellow Illinoian and Cubs fan too, I had the joy of seeing him perform live in October with Keith Urban.

His song, “Wanna Be” is a perfect anthem for where I am with writing these days. It’s a song probably better suited for weddings, but none-the-less, I’ll make it my own.

It’s my muse to the Lord that I “wanna be” that messenger of words for Him. He has given me a gift of writing and I must surrender to accomplishing that task. I “wanna be” that writer for my readers—by writing stories about people who struggle with decisions and conflicts that arise in their lives. Things that we can all relate to. And, I “wanna be” that role-model for my daughters—tell honest and compelling stories, show them what it takes to work hard and persevere, and never give up for the right cause.

Because in the end…this is what sums it up. “When you’re standing in the moment, every life has a sound track…” Every character has a voice, an action, and thought.

I don’t know what the next chapter of my life is going to be, but I now understand (finally, after two books), that it’s okay to grieve when I finish a book, and that I can slowly begin to wean myself from the story and let it flourish—Just like a newborn baby, there is a need to let it become.

“Sometimes it’s the unseen experience that helps one understand the seen potential.”

If you or someone you love is experiencing feelings of depression or isolation, please contact:

Resources:

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=urgent_crisis_hotline

http://www.alternativedepressiontherapy.com/free-hotlines.html

http://www.depression-chat-rooms.org/depression-helplines.htm

References:

http://www.runnersworld.com/newswire/the-worlds-fastest-marathons-and-marathoners.

http://www.biography.com/people/michael-phelps-345192.

http://listverse.com/2009/02/24/top-10-most-influential-scientists/.

http://www.biography.com/people/steve-jobs-9354805

http://www.everydayhealth.com/depression/why-writers-are-prone-to-depression-6709.aspx