Author, Wife, Busy Mom, A Woman after God's Heart.

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Confessions of a Kindergarten Mom

kindergarten graduation

It’s 2:33 am and I can’t sleep. In just a few short hours I will witness the celebration of my youngest daughter’s achievement. Her Kindergarten graduation.

She has come so far in just nine months. She has learned the sounds of all her alphabet, can count to 100, can write her first and last name, spell out several words by herself, read simple books, and learned addition and subtraction. Her vocabulary and inquisitive mind is beyond maturity.

Physically, she is taller, fuller, and doesn’t look like a child, but rather a bright-eyed and smiley little girl. I’m so proud and happy for her, but I also feel a sense of grief. She is my last child to go through Kindergarten. I don’t have any more children. So, her graduation is bittersweet. I feel like an empty-nester, even though I have another eighteen years or so of schooling to go through for both girls.

I’m reminded of a scene from my novel, Love’s Perfect Surrender. The mother, Antoinette Libero takes her daughter, Isabella, to preschool. Antoinette has spent weeks preparing her child for the big day, worrying whether Isabella will cry or cling to her. Instead, as soon as the bell rings, her little girl happily wanders into the school without a tear shed.

When Antoinette returns home, she collapses and cries her eyes out—unable to contain her emotional roller coaster inside her heart. Preschool is her child’s first step into the big “bad” world, and Antoinette knows, slowly she will lose her little girl. And that’s where I am. Teetering between elation and sadness.

It’s been a year of adjustments and growing pains for the family, but we’ve managed. I know there are many books out there to help mothers with these kinds of changes. But, the truth is, I know now I don’t have any more babies. My only two girls are walking, talking, full of attitude little people. They are growing up and I am growing older.

When the moment comes and my little child and all her twenty friends throw their graduation hats in the air at the end of this assembly, she will have shed another layer of innocence.

And that is what worries me the most.

The Taste of Freedom

bike riding_a

The Webster’s Dictionary defines Freedom as (a.) “The state of being at liberty rather than in confinement, or under physical restraint. (b.) The absence of release or ties. (c.) Exemption from external control.”

Summer has always been my favorite time of the year. I love the heat, wearing shorts and flip-flops, and the fact that it gets dark later. However, the best part of summer from when I was a child, and even now as a “grown-up,” was riding my bike; feeling the wind in my face and hair, while exploring streets, going on dirt paths, over hills, and under tunnels. Riding has also helped clear my head. In fact, I’ve done my best creative thinking while riding my bike.

At the beginning of this season, I made it my goal to model the joy of pedaling on two wheels for my daughters who are five and seven. I’ll be honest; there is nothing more constraining than training wheels. They’re bulky, ugly, and no matter how securely fastened the wheels are, they are never really aligned correctly, which makes one feel like constantly tipping over.

So, a couple of weeks ago, my husband and I donated our children’s older bikes and bought two new bikes—without training wheels. We set them up on their kickstand in the garage, with helmets dangling from their handle bars. Then, we announced we were going riding—the whole family. Oh, my kids loved the bikes and were extremely excited to have them, but there was a But…and the great mystifying excuse… “We don’t know how to ride without training wheels.”

“Sure you can,” I replied.

You see, my girls had become too complacent in their own world, pedaling on “four wheels”. It was time to take them off.

Four chestnut-brown eyes stared back at me, uncertainty creasing their brow, along with some fear-stricken hesitancy. The situation looked tense at first, but there was also a willingness to try, after all, they had brand new bikes. And then it happened. With some needed practice and a few bruises, they learned how to ride without those “restraining” wheels—each providing the other support and encouragement. A sigh of relief—a little nudge was needed.

As we finish off August and pour into the fall months, and with their renewed confidence in bicycle riding, I believe my girls will be pedaling up and down the street until the first snowflakes hit the ground. And, that’s okay with me. They’ve tasted and felt the freedom of riding.

Someone recently commented to me. “If you think this is freedom, wait till they learn how to drive a car. You’ll be in trouble for sure.”

I laughed it off. “Ha. We shall see. I’m in no hurry for them to grow up. Right now, I’m happy with this accomplishment.”

Until then, the saga of raising children continues, one pedal at a time.

(Photo. Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net)

 

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