When a strawberry speaks, be sure to listen.
Most of my life I’ve been told to choose my friends wisely, don’t get in with the wrong crowd, keep my friends close but my enemies closer, etc.
As a parent with two elementary-aged daughters, I find myself saying those exact things to my children. The vulnerability and desire to “fit-in” and “stand out” with peers weigh heavy on both of my pre-teens’ minds. They just want to have friends and be known.
Too many times though, that nativity can get someone in trouble if the obsession “to be someone known” overpowers their rationality. And then what do we have? Peer-pressure to perform or do something that can have negative consequences.
As of late, no matter how many times I’ve tried to explain to my girls on choosing their friends carefully, they still don’t understand. Until… a trip to the grocery store changed all that, and one type of fruit to tell it like it is.
Most fruits are packaged today, berries, raspberries, grapes, etc. One of our favorites is strawberries. My daughters love them dipped in Nutella, cut up small pieces and sprinkled over pancakes or waffles, and even on ice cream with whip cream.
It took inspecting packages of strawberries as a teaching moment opportunity for my kids. There they were, neatly stacked packages and packages of strawberries. First, I perused the rows and then eye-balled them from the back row, working my way to the front row, picking up the boxes peering closely and turning them over. My girls looked over my shoulder in impatience and curiosity (they don’t like grocery shopping because I take too long), wondering why I was scrutinizing each package. Finding the right words, it hit me.
Picking up one particular package, I said, “Let’s say this package of strawberries are representative of your friends.”
My older child rolled her eyes. “Really, Mom, another story?” Yep! It’s gonna be a good one, baby. I can feel it.
“Yes, now listen. Everything is going great with your friends, and everyone is getting along until something changes that dynamic of your group. Maybe someone gets jealous of your friend, maybe one friend doesn’t like your other friend, and then the fighting starts, who knows right, and there are so many variables that can break up friendships. Or maybe someone from another group suddenly joins your group and that leads to the spoilage of your current relationships.”
My younger daughter’s jaw dropped. No comments, good. I’ll continue.
“One rotten and moldy strawberry in a package can ruin the rest of the strawberries, and so can one person ruin relationships. Always be careful in the company of whom you associate with. You understand?”
My eldest nodded, but then asked, “I have friends of different cultures is that bad?”
I knew what she meant. We live in a diverse community and choosing wisely didn’t mean only picking a certain set of friends or sticking with one racial group. It was more than that.
I held up a package. “No. Not at all. Look closely, honey. Each strawberry in this package is different. Different shapes, different sizes, and different colors. Some are darker and some are lighter. That is all fine. You want a good mix, but not have any moldy ones because then they’ll all get mushy really fast. The same applies to friends. Having different friends helps you to grow as a person, but when they want you to do things you aren’t comfortable doing or pressure you to go against your beliefs, morals, and values, then that can make things go rotten and terrible. You get me now?”
One smiled. One smirked.
“Now, let’s pick a good package of strawberries.”
And that’s how I explained to my children how to pick decent friends.
THE END
